HOW TO TALK TO AN ADOLESCENT

Parent who desire to produce successful adults must endeavour to get relevant information that will help them talk to their children. The more knowledge a parent is the easier it becomes to talk to a growing child, especially an adolescent.

  Tell your child your view about sex. Teach him the values you want him to uphold. Not in a dictatorship style, but in a friendly chat. Actually, the best way to communicate values and beliefs, even lifestyle, is by example. Let your child see your life as exemplary. Make him/her proud of having a mother or father like you.

It is important to let your child know that the strange feelings he/she is experiencing in the body is normal. He needs to know that he has committed no sin by having such feelings. That what is important is how the feelings was handled. Encourage them to make decision quite early to live a honourable life by developing self-control. Let them know that they can control whatever feelings that come to their bodies by setting limits to their actions especially flirting.

Your child should know that she has the right to say no to sex. Sex should never be used as a reward for kindness, or as a threat. If an adolescent must have sex she must be protected. Teach them the use of condoms, as well as the dangers of unprotected sex.

Middle adolescence (15 – 19 years ) is the most delicate age. It is important parents know the common characteristics of this age. It will help them to understand their children and enhance effective communication.

·         At this age, sexual interest is kindled. They begin to have special relationship with opposite sex.

·         There is the tendency of becoming withdrawn or isolated from family. He/she finds more joy in peer group than from family.

·         Experiencing emotional conflict is very common. Not being able to choose the right values. He/she needs guidance and someone he/she can trust who can help resolve the conflicts. This is why you must explain such things like wet dreams, masturbation, prevention of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases including AIDS.

 While talking to your child, it is needful you learn to listen well. If a child feels relaxed and free, he can really open up, he may not come direct but if you are attentive you will get a lead from what he says. Always be ready to clear him/her of the things that borders or worry them. Once his fears are lifted he will feel more confident to face life.

 Finally endeavour to respect your child's privacy. Don’t go about searching his bags except if you suspect he/she is into drugs or getting too wild. Remember that they are old enough to form their own opinions or views of life. They only need your advice to help them shape it right.